Pops Unfiltered | A Look at Legacy

[00:00:08] Hey everybody, I'm Larry Little. And I'm Melissa Jackson. Thank you for listening to our Crossing the Line podcast, a podcast where we talk with people about the moments in their life when they cross that line from leading with their head to leading with their heart and then from leading with their heart to leading with their head. This is a podcast about relationships. I love it Larry and today we're going to talk about leading and watching from your heart because we have a special day today where we want to look at fathers and the impact that they have

[00:00:38] in their family's lives. Yeah, we wanted to be able to do that in a unique way. It was really cool I think when we got to hear from our moms and we had that phone call. So we were talking about that and what could we do. So we decided that let's do something different. Let's go on location.

[00:00:57] And we decided that we would go over to where my father lived. I call him Pops and where Pops and mom live. And we would do a podcast there at their dinner table and he and I just sharing a cup of coffee.

[00:01:11] And as we do this I want us to be mindful of a key word here that keeps coming back to my mind and that is legacy and the importance of investments in their fathers and their children.

[00:01:27] Even when they're doing that day in and day out and things get so fast and furious in different seasons of their life. But being mindful that those investments create something unique over the lifetime of that family's life and those children and that's called legacy.

[00:01:45] And it's important that we be intentional and best. Yeah, I was really honestly I was a little shocked when I was listening to Pops tell the stories about the link that I saw about the pattern, the legacy that started before him with his dad.

[00:02:05] So it was really interesting and I think really pertinent for all of us to remember and to think about that investment that we're living right now what we're doing and that interview that we did with him.

[00:02:17] I think really shows that. So I'm excited to release that. I'm excited for all of us to go back and listen to that and watch that. He's 84 years old. He loves to have fun.

[00:02:31] He loves to laugh. He enjoys life and we had a lot of fun sharing together and having coffee together. So let's go over to Frank and Linda's house and let's sit at the dining room table with Frank and have a cup of coffee. Let's do it.

[00:02:45] Now Pops we're talking about Father's Day. You and I want to hear from you and want to hear about your thoughts on Father's Day. There are a lot of people who have lost their father.

[00:02:58] There are some people who maybe are estranged from their father. Some people are not. Some people will celebrate with their father on Father's Day but regardless Father's Day is important.

[00:03:11] Fathers are important. They impact our lives positively and negatively right? We want to just hear from you because you're a young 84 right?

[00:03:23] I just want to hear from some of your wisdom. You lived a good long time and you've learned an awful lot of things and you grew up in a time when it's very different than what we are experiencing today.

[00:03:35] It's a whole different life, a whole different world. So how many brothers and sisters did you have? You know how many brothers and sisters you had? You're the baby right? Was there 9? 10? 10. 7 boys and 3 girls. 7 boys and 3 girls and you were the baby? Right.

[00:03:53] So being the baby, before we get to your dad, being the baby were you spoiled? Yes. You didn't even check up on that. I really was. They spoiled me. Did they?

[00:04:08] Yes. Even the two brothers older than I am, boy they watch after me. They take care of me and I take advantage. You took advantage. So your dad, Bill, what did he do? He was a well driller.

[00:04:27] So back in the day people had to drill for drinking water right? Oh yeah. And then he just went across the county drilling wells. Yeah, most of all the counties did. Lawrence, Morgan, Lifestone and even Hustle. And that's the way he made a living. Right.

[00:04:46] What did he do when people couldn't pay with money? Oh goodness. Back then people didn't have much money. It was a little money but not much.

[00:04:55] But anyway, he would give them credit. A lot of times you had to go buy him a rope so they could draw water out of the well. He put casing in there. You had to go buy the casing.

[00:05:13] I was there seeing all this and he did that. He was a real friendly person. Everybody liked to be around him because he kid a lot. He had a lot of fun. That's where you get it.

[00:05:30] Yeah, he was. He just loved to have people tell stories and fun. He wore a little hat on his head. They went out one day and he was telling them they cut the brim of it off.

[00:05:50] He laughed about it. But he was a good communicator with people and people would like him. A lot of times he would have to charge at this grocery store. This gas for the machine, the wheel machine and everything. Until he did get some money.

[00:06:09] He would give to people, you're saying. He would help people and if they didn't have money he would let them charge. So he had this legacy of giving even in your early years. Yeah, he would get groceries. He did well for people who had a grocery store.

[00:06:27] He would trade for cars. He would take a car on the trade-in. He would take cows, pigs. He could get it. I remember he took a bunch of little pigs. His brother-in-law, which is his name, Homer, had one of those pigs that was called a runt.

[00:06:57] He decided he would slip over in Uncle Homer's pen and put that runt in there. He would just give it to him and not tell him nothing about it or where it came from.

[00:07:11] He slipped it in there and it was that runt. One of them is the one that's not growing too good. So Uncle Homer, he took that pig. He fed it and took care of it. It had a big pig and they killed it. He gave Danny some meat.

[00:07:28] It worked out pretty well for him didn't it? Yeah, he did stuff like that. I can remember him getting scales. You would weigh stuff on him. He took scales like he would take a horse or a cow.

[00:07:40] He would take a car. He would take land. Anything he could get. What was your relationship like with him, with your dad? Being the youngest of 10, what was your relationship like? You remember him?

[00:07:52] Yeah, it was good. He really loved me. He was real affectionate Danny. He really was. Sometimes he'd have... We were like Dorstelps, the first and last group of the family. And he had myself and Bobby and Buck. That's three of us. I'm the baby.

[00:08:13] It was kind of like Dorstelps. And we would sit in his lap, three of us. Really? Yeah. He loved all of us right there. He would be sitting up there in his chair. And he was... We loved our Danny. We'd like to go places you know.

[00:08:32] And one time, we all three hit in the trunk. He got down the road and he hurt us. In the trunk? Yeah. Probably didn't get far. He probably wanted us to walk back. But he was always having fun. He would have fun with people.

[00:08:53] Now parenting back then is not what it is today. In fact, you had a parenting moment with your dad when you and Bobby I think got to scuffling in the bed. Y'all shared the bed together. A lot of kids, not a lot of money.

[00:09:10] They had a fireplace in there. They had a fireplace and what happened? Well this was a shotgun house if you know what that is. Shoot all the way through it and not hit nobody. It's on them old homes. So I believe it was down there in the front

[00:09:22] room which is a big room where we were. Daddy and mama was sitting by the fireplace. So we were sitting there and we were hitting each other and doing something. And Daddy,

[00:09:37] he drank a little long you know. He probably had a little bit to drink too you know. And we'd come on hitting each other you know and he's sitting there. We would always keep a big rock of somebody done in front of the fireplace.

[00:09:53] I think it's one old Google model. He took that rock. He said, Bobby you get over here. Frank you get over here and he put that rock between us. He put it in the fireplace. A big rock in the middle of the bed.

[00:10:08] Yeah. He said, you stay over there and you stay over here. I love it. Yeah. And he was something else. He loved us boys though. He really did. He loved the

[00:10:22] girls too. But he was a mess. I never will forget. He drilled well and he had a ton to have truck. And he came in there and come in the house. And mama knew that he had been

[00:10:39] drinking something. That's what mama said until maybe I was a kid. She said, you go out there and see if you can find it. And she could find it. She'd pour it out. Pour out the alcohol. She told you to see if you could go find his alcohol.

[00:10:51] Yeah. And I got out there and I got to smell it. I could smell it but I couldn't find it. But back then, this was an international truck. Back then you had a little panel on the door for

[00:11:03] some reason. It had screws in it. And daddy took it out and put it down in the door and put the screws back on. But somebody said, being a kid like I said, I thought it might need

[00:11:15] to be in the door. I took those screws out. And I resend it and I think it was a Fiat. They call it something. I carried it and gave it to mama. But anyway, I don't know what she

[00:11:31] did. It's been years ago. But anyway, even though all that... And we would drill wells. And it come dinner time. He would shut off the machine. I always wanted to go with them.

[00:11:47] I didn't want to stay at home with mama. Sometimes I'd go with her but I didn't want to. I wanted to go be with daddy and the boys. Well, you know, we'd go in and we'd sit down

[00:11:59] at the table. And daddy would always eat with them because he said that showed good friendships. I remember my older brother said, daddy, I eat in here. I didn't care what I was. And Bobby and I, the book was a little sensitive. But

[00:12:22] daddy made him go in and eat. Y'all all ate together. Yeah. We didn't have what would go with them because back then people would hurt your feelings. So you would go eat with people that you were drilling wells for? Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. So

[00:12:38] the whole crew that were drilling, your dad and brothers, y'all would go in and eat with these people because that was showing kindness. Yeah. It's good. And daddy did that. I didn't care. I didn't eat anywhere. That's interesting. Yeah. But he knew that was showing

[00:12:53] showing gratitude, showing kindness to these people and respecting them to sit at their table and eat with them. That was the deal. Yeah. What is one thing dad think about him? And if you think about something you learned from him, what was something he, and I know

[00:13:11] we'll qualify this by saying just to you, he passed away when you were young, you were 16 when he died. But what is, as you remember as a young man, what is something you carry with you

[00:13:25] that you got from your dad? Well, some kind of... I would say it was love. He had, seemed like love in his hands. Now he could be strict now. He could whip you too.

[00:13:42] And I can remember that. That was back when they gave whippings, right? Right. Back in the day. Yeah. And you know, boy he would tell you I respected him, but he being the baby,

[00:13:52] he would let me off with a lot of things. He didn't tell us this. I know he did. But anyway, they had his brother-in-law to come over. People back then visited a lot. And his brother-in-law and he, and would come over and it was just history, you know.

[00:14:10] And they'd come over a lot. And Daddy and them would visit and Daddy would go in that room across the, you know, big old wide room. You'd go through there, you know,

[00:14:22] doors with nothing to shoot through it. But he'd go in that room there and they'd go in there and when he got there, he told all his kids. He said, now we're going in here.

[00:14:32] He said, I want you kids not to be coming in here. Me and Lois, we're gonna talk. And Lois was? Daddy's brother. His brother-in-law, okay. Yeah, but his sister. And he said, y'all just go on playing now. Don't come in here and disturb us.

[00:14:48] Well, me and Miss Seaviews, like I was, I opened the door and kind of run in there and I turned around and looked and I said, who pushed me in here? And Daddy looked over at his brother-in-law and said, what do I do Lois? What do I do?

[00:15:12] He knew he had something he didn't know what to do with. He said, what do I do Lois? What do I do? But he taught you love. You took that, he was affectionate to you

[00:15:23] and he taught you love. And you brought that into your life. You brought that into your relationship with mom and then with your children. And you have two children, me and my younger sister Kim. And love has always been an important part of your parenting.

[00:15:39] Yes, it is. Even in the Bible, chapter 13 in Corinthians, the love chapter, if I read it one time, it seems like I've read it a thousand. I see so much truth in

[00:15:51] how it is to do. And love is something that never fails. And I found that to be true. I mean, I just push on that because I know it's true. I see it's being true. It went over everything else and I love it. I love it.

[00:16:07] You read that chapter a lot to us growing up and taught us about that. I read it just about every morning. Every morning for years and years. And I like that scripture. I have read through the Bible too, but that's my scripture.

[00:16:21] I love it. And you applied that to Kim and to me now as a father. We're very different. Kim's very different personality than me. Right? So you had to parent us differently, but you

[00:16:32] parented with love. Right. Even though since you mentioned this, Kim even told me, she said, even under those, she just volunteered for me and hers together. She said, things were going a little bit bad, you know, thinking in her situation. We were talking,

[00:16:56] she was talking. She said, Danny, I never, never, never believed that you did not love me under all those circumstances. I love it. She just volunteered it out of the sky. Said,

[00:17:08] I knew that your mother always loved me. Well, she knew it. And here, let me just say this, cause she'll probably listen and watch this. And she, just like you were the spoiled one, she was a spoiled one. Y'all spoiled her. She got everything that she wanted.

[00:17:22] And she knows she did. So Kim, if you're listening, we're just saying it out loud. You're spoiled. So, but we grew up in a family of love and you read that, that,

[00:17:32] that scripture to us a lot, a lot growing up. What is the story you remember about me growing up that kind of sticks in your mind? When I was a child, do you have one?

[00:17:41] Yeah, I really do. When he was growing up, you know, many years ago and when he got the age of 16, I got him a car. And this car, I didn't get him a real, you know, expensive car with

[00:18:05] I was in business, you know. But we found this car, I think an individual had it. And I bought it and it was an old car and a floor board was, you could see the ground. But he, he would drive it. He was proud of it.

[00:18:23] I thought it was great. Hey, I got my pants. Water would splat when it rained. I had to be careful cause water would splash up through the floorboard and get my pants all wet.

[00:18:32] And he had that little straight stick and we called it the Donald Duck car. I loved it. I was excited cause I knew that my alternative was to walk.

[00:18:41] Yeah, yeah. And I just get this real big kick out of Larry. He was, I don't know how old he was, maybe two years old or something. And we would play doctor. I'd be in the bed,

[00:18:53] Melinda would be up doing something. I don't know what she's doing but she was still up He would lay on my stomach with the baby and we would play doctor. I'd go all around him with a thing like I was docked in him and chicken him.

[00:19:11] And I'd get up here, we call it- Belly button. Belly button. I'd say, now Larry what is this here? He'd say belly button. He'd just laugh. It was crazy. We'd always learn when we did that. But we had a lot of fun and he got up

[00:19:31] older when he was in school and college. He worked with me in the business. And I will tell you this, it was real good for the business. And what I liked about it,

[00:19:41] he took the young people cause he was good with young people. And I'd take the older people. If I wasn't there he could handle older people too. It was amazing how he could do it. And I think he started talking with us the day old, I don't know.

[00:19:59] You're probably right. But he could handle it old or young. But he was super good with young people. He had a lot of people coming in. But he could handle old people. But that would always

[00:20:13] amaze me how he could do that. And he did real good too. And I told him one time, he was still young and I'd come back and he told me about this customer he had.

[00:20:27] And I said everything. I said okay. I said Larry, I just want you to do- he was really young. I said I want you to go call this person. And I said I want you to talk to him

[00:20:36] and tell him you want him to come back. And I told him what I ought to say. He was young. Everything to do with him and everything. He called him back and he called. He told

[00:20:45] him I guess everything I told him. And he sold the car. Hey, I could take coaching. I could take coaching. He listened well. I have to honestly say this. He listened well.

[00:20:58] He really was unusual far as behavior. You tell him something and he would do it. He would really apply and he made him money. Because I had years of experience. But he did that and

[00:21:20] it would work. But- I remember too thinking about your dad and the legacy that he had of love and giving. And you always demonstrated that. You and mom had been- you were so good

[00:21:33] about giving even when we didn't have much. I remember times when we didn't have a whole- not much at all but you were giving to others who had less. You were always looking withers groceries, whatever we had. I watched you do that. And you're still doing that to

[00:21:47] this day. You still love to give. I remember you were so affectionate and we would have to read that 1 Corinthians 13. That's like every day. But I also remember as a teenager, it didn't

[00:22:01] matter how old I was. I was 14 or 15. He said come here son give me a kiss before you- We still do that to this day. That affection that you demonstrated. You did a beautiful job

[00:22:14] of that. Carrying on that legacy of love from your dad. Carrying it down and teaching us about loving people. That was- if I had to say a thing, you taught us to love people. That's what you really hung your hat on that and ingrained that into your children.

[00:22:32] And who- even today with Kim and with myself, we love people. And we live our life to do that. And that's because of your legacy. And then it goes back. It's so interesting

[00:22:46] that your dad had that. He passed that to you and you passed that legacy to us. That's beautiful. I think that's just amazing. He did. So dad, if you could go back and that legacy

[00:22:57] of your dad and what he left with you and what you've carried forward. But if you could go back and tell your dad, if he were here today, you could tell him something. What would

[00:23:07] one thing be that you would tell your dad? That he had a lot of love in his hands and his body. And with us children. And he loved us. And I could see that. I could see him.

[00:23:20] A lot of times people would be leaving and him and mom would be outside. And they would be hugging each other or kissing. He was real. And you know, you have people that you can tell sometimes if they're real or not. But he was real because

[00:23:40] the way he loved mama and the way he loved us kids. He was a sweet, affectionate daddy. And he showed that in his life. And I really remember that. And that sticks to me too. He was a loving daddy. And we all loved him.

[00:24:07] Well thank you for that. And thank you for this time. You passed that love to us and what a gift and treasure you are. So thank you for that. And thank you for spending time talking

[00:24:17] to me, telling me these stories so we could get them and capture them. And we'll look forward to putting this podcast out and talking about fathers, talking about Father's Day. It's going to be good. So thank you for your time. Oh, you're welcome. I'm glad too.

[00:24:33] So Larry, that was so much fun. And there's some outtakes that are even more fun than we got. You were videoing like when we were just hanging out. You know, that's the best pieces. The part where nobody knows that they're being recorded.

[00:24:51] So I love that. I will tell you that's just how we roll most of the time. We just like to laugh. We like to have humor. I can see that. Just have fun. That's part of your relationship,

[00:25:02] part of that connection. You know, like he said, his dad loved to have fun and some of the antics that he would pull. And dad liked to have fun. And I know this surprises you,

[00:25:12] but I like to have fun. And you know, I can continue to see your son likes to have fun. There's just this legacy that just keeps going. Brandon loves to have fun. He does. That's

[00:25:22] good. That was a lot of fun. It was neat to do that. And really interesting to think about the takeaways. You know, what I saw as I was listening to stories. Now these stories,

[00:25:38] you guys got to know, these are legacy stories. We've heard these stories through our years and dad loves to tell them. And that's good for him at 84, to process that and to hear. But

[00:25:50] he tells them and enjoys telling. But we love hearing them even if we've heard them, you know, forever. We always laugh and have a great time. But listen, this time, as he was going through that, I was thinking about this podcast, of course,

[00:26:06] and thinking about what we're doing here as we celebrate Father's Day. But there's a pattern there. You know, there's a pattern there from his dad to him to me and then down to my son.

[00:26:19] And I think that pattern I found was that his dad loved people, loved to give. There was a giving heart. He talked about that. That I saw in my dad growing up. Now we didn't necessarily

[00:26:31] have a lot growing up. No, we didn't have a lot growing up. But he always gave. And then I saw that his dad did that. It's my heart to do that and I want to pass that on to my

[00:26:42] children, both my daughter and my son. And that is just, it was just amazing though to see back then. That's when that legacy really started. And you know, legacy is about making that investment at the time for the future. You know, you don't really see your legacy

[00:27:02] when it's going on. You know, when you're doing that day in and day out. And so it's not till a different season can you really look and see over this time, this investment did this.

[00:27:15] This is what it produced. So right. You know, you're so right. And I guess the question is, how do we live our legacy? How do we live that legacy? And so, you know, we would be remiss

[00:27:28] if we didn't give our listeners a takeaway here, right? I mean, we enjoyed being with Pops and that was awesome. But how, what can we take away? How can we live that legacy?

[00:27:39] We know it's there. We're in the season of life. You know, I can look back and I can kind of look to my own son. I can look back at dad and his dad and see it. They're like, how do we

[00:27:49] live that legacy though to make sure we don't miss it? And I think there are three things. I think we have to aim in the right direction. You know, and that's a great point when you're

[00:27:58] saying aim, but because in relationships you might not ever hit the mark. You know, the mark moves part of the relationship is moving with the relationship and figuring out what that

[00:28:09] person needs and how to help them, you know, where they are. And so give us some good thoughts. You just said that really beautifully because relationships change. If a relationship is stagnant, it's not living. It's dead. It's not growing. It's not shifting. It's not changing.

[00:28:32] So we have to aim and continue to aim. And aim stands for first we have to be, A, we have to be aware. And we have to be aware because relationships change and things

[00:28:42] change. And we have to be aware of where are we in this season of life? Where are we in this relationship? Be aware of what does that person, you know, what do they need? And

[00:28:53] we'll stop here and say that this is not just about fathers, biological fathers investing in children. It can be someone that's been an influence in your life that has influence in your life. We're talking about fathers, but a father is not the only one that lives their

[00:29:10] legacy. We all do. And to have these people that speak into our life that are important to us. But to realize that we have to be aware of that. I have to be aware that people

[00:29:22] are watching me and that I have an influence. And I have to ask myself, I have to be aware of, okay, who am I influencing? Who is in my circle of influence? Right? Who is that? And we all have somebody. It doesn't matter. We all have someone that's

[00:29:34] watching us. So you have to be aware. That's the first thing. I think next is the I. And that means once we're aware, if I'm just aware, you know, Melissa, I'm not doing anything. I'm just aware. That's great. I'm aware that this is going on and absolutely

[00:29:49] nothing's being done. And so the I means we have to invest. This is the action word. Invest is an action word. So if we're aware, we have to get to where they are. We have to invest. We

[00:30:02] have to do something with that awareness. We have to say, now I'm going to put feet to what I know and I'm going to invest in that person. And you're investing, not having a return.

[00:30:12] You know, you're investing banking on the fact that one day what I'm doing and the consistency that I'm giving or providing is going to pay off in some way. It's going to produce something. That's 100% right. It's not instant gratification, right? It's not

[00:30:29] investing today and seeing tomorrow. It's choosing to invest because we know that investing takes time and choosing to allow that time to work. So we're not investing for an instant return. We're not investing for that. We're investing for the future.

[00:30:46] We're investing for the long haul. Why? Well, that's the M. Why are we doing this? Because it matters. Relationships matter. Those that we influence, it truly matters. And we're tempted to get so caught up and I know, man, I'm guilty of this. So many things

[00:31:04] going on in our lives. I'm just like, you know, pulled in so many directions. But if we stop and think about, well, what are the top three things that are important to us? I

[00:31:13] guarantee you our relationships will be in those top three. If that's the case, then we need to realize the importance of investing, the importance of being aware and never stop because

[00:31:26] it's not a one time, well, let's do it. Well, I did it one time, you know? Nope. It's figuring out what these people in this relationship need. And because it matters, continuing to do it over and over and over again. That's right. That's right. And you

[00:31:39] may be the one to change the script. You know, let's say everybody doesn't have great relationships with their father. Some people don't even know their father. So they get to decide, do they change that script? And what does it need to look like? Because what they're

[00:31:59] doing matters for who they're going to invest in. So it is important to ask yourself that question. Why does it matter? It does matter because guess what? I get an opportunity to do something different. I get an opportunity to live in the legacy and I get an opportunity

[00:32:19] to change the script a little bit. I love that thought because there are people who do have that difficult, estranged, maybe even dysfunctional, maybe they don't even know. And that awareness piece, if you go back, so how does this work? How does AIM work with

[00:32:33] that? Well, I'm aware that I want to break that cycle of dysfunction. I've got a friend who had a rough relationship with his dad. He and his brother had a rough relationship with their mom

[00:32:44] and it was just tough and he's a grown man now. He and his brother got together and they decided that they would break the chain of dysfunction. That they would start new links. That they would begin. They were two links. They would start a new link in their

[00:33:01] relationship and their life. They didn't have to live. They were aware of where they'd been. So they started investing in their family and in their relationships very differently. One of them bought a boat and they named it Two Links. They named that boat to be a

[00:33:19] tangible reminder of their investment. They're investing in a different way because it matters. They're breaking the chain of dysfunction, investing in a different way because it's so important to them to lead their families differently.

[00:33:34] So legacy. Legacy is so important. We've got to remember, we're going to be thankful for what we have, the relationships we have but then also we've got to think about the future and make sure we're choosing to create the story that we want to create. That's exactly

[00:33:49] right. We get to choose where to aim. We get to choose how to live our legacy and when we choose that, that's when we truly make a difference. So now it's time for

[00:34:00] my favorite part of the podcast. Let's do it. Are you ready guys? This is Father's Day after all and I end every podcast by telling a dad joke. So I want to tell you a dad joke and

[00:34:12] are you ready? Ready. All right. Why did the ghost go to a bar? Why did the ghost go to a bar? I have no idea. He wanted some booze. He sure did. Hey, thank you so much for hanging

[00:34:34] out with us and being a part of our podcast, Crossing the Line. We hope that you have taken away something that can help you in your relationships and to all the fathers out there and those who have influenced others in their life. Happy Father's Day. We look forward

[00:34:48] to seeing you next time on Crossing the Line. Remember, you can make a difference in the lives of those you love, live with and leave with.