Sales and Cigars | Parker Harris | Masterminds Personal Development 3.0 | Episode 154

[00:00:00] Hey everyone, Walter Crosby with Helix Sales Development, your host of Sales and Cigars. Today's episode is about personal development and masterminds. My guest is Parker Harris and we get into sort of the behind the scenes of mastermind. We get into understanding what he calls personal development 3.0.

[00:00:23] And it's interesting, he's on a journey traveling through Europe and he's using those experiences to help him improve his mastermind facilitation and be able to help leaders grow and entrepreneurs grow in a personal development or leadership role.

[00:00:42] So go grab a cocktail, grab a cigar, strap in for another impactful episode of Sales and Cigars. So Zach welcome to the program. I appreciate you taking some time out of your travel schedule. My pleasure, Walter.

[00:01:21] We spoke in the green room you're doing a little traveling and enjoying Europe. That's a nice way to I think experience the world, meet people and start to appreciate what we have. This is the longest I lived outside of San Diego.

[00:01:37] We're six months into this journey now and it's related to a lot of growth and evolution for me personally. And anything in particular is a highlight that you can share about the like what you've taken out of the something that surprised you.

[00:01:53] You know, I think being from America, I've heard a lot of different things about Europe and I've been to Europe a couple of times before but actually immersing myself in it. You know, the quality of life here, the cost of living being less which I was very

[00:02:07] surprised about. You are comparing it to California though. Yeah, that's fair. But we did spend some time in Texas and Wyoming and Nashville as part of this journey as well. So have a few different reference points.

[00:02:23] I think the main thing is how it's impacted me just realizing that like most things aren't a big deal and me reacting to those things ends up creating more problems for myself that I then have to deal with and really learning to react and just get in more

[00:02:41] in tune with my own gut and my own decision making abilities has been a gift that I didn't expect. Sort of makes me think of stoicism, you know, the 2000 year old philosophy about, you know,

[00:02:57] that reacting to the things that we can control and focusing on the things that we control and letting all those other things go. That's a unique take on travel and what you get out of the, because you're just going through

[00:03:13] Europe, the cultures within a country are, there's multiple cultures within the same country. So true. Yeah, if I may Walter, like it's so interesting the way you define stoicism. I've never heard it defined that way.

[00:03:32] And I remember one of the first books I read on personal development was seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey. And he talks about that framework of like circle of influence versus circle of concern

[00:03:42] and that successful people spend 80 or 90% of their time in their circle of influence versus circle of concern. And I think this is one of the tricky things about any type of knowledge is it's like or thinking, right? There's there's a difference between knowing something and like applying it.

[00:03:58] I often call it the difference between like knowledge and wisdom. And I think experiences, whether it's traveling or whether it's a mastermind or whether it's an adventure, whitewater rafting trip, you know, I've experienced, I've invested in a number of different experiences.

[00:04:17] And those experiences help me activate knowledge in a way that like reading a book never did. Well, there's a lot of people buy books and then have them cool sit down in their shelf. And then some people start them and don't finish them and other people read them.

[00:04:35] And then other people read them and try to think about how they apply it in their world in their life. And that's where the rubber meets the road is taking that taking that information knowledge and then actually doing something with it that affects change for ourselves or

[00:04:55] for someone else that close to us or just in the community. And for me, that stoicism is tough. It's difficult to kind of live it to the way that it was intended. But it's a great goal to have.

[00:05:14] And, you know, that Covey's idea of that that sphere of influence, like most people are worried about stuff that social media and news that it doesn't it doesn't apply to us. And they can get lost and go down lots of little rabbit holes and never come back out.

[00:05:36] Yeah, I think that's well said. And with with the internet and like smartphones being what they are now, it's so easy to digest information, whether it's, you know, for me, YouTube, like, and there's a certain amount of dopamine that I get from that intellectual stimulation.

[00:05:53] And and it's also like a very comfortable environment. But be like being in an experience like in sales, right? Like, I can read sales books, but then being on a sales call. It's it's a different experience.

[00:06:09] And I think it's much more like there's a lot more discomfort in it and being able to go through that discomfort, the failure, the rejection and and then still study that and be aware of what worked, what didn't work. It's just it's that craftsman mentality.

[00:06:24] And it's that that path to mastery that I think, you know, few people go on. That's that's a really great point because whether it be sales or or, you know, any, anything that we're trying to learn woodworking or leadership, leadership. I got a friend with a forge.

[00:06:44] Like he's making knives and swords and stuff, right? But it's taken him it's a journey. It's a process that we go through. And, you know, when I speak to salespeople, it's like, I want you to I want you to practice this, right?

[00:06:57] And it's going to be this role play is uncomfortable, but this is a safe place to screw things up. It's the experiment to try things and it's better to do that here. Because once we get into the sales call, like you mentioned, right?

[00:07:10] You're trying to do some discovery or just a general sales call. All that really goes out the window and we're just going to be who we are. And if we've absorbed that, if we've taken in and own what we've learned,

[00:07:24] it takes time, but that's where we just react to what's happening. And one day you'll say, wow. Wow, I said what I what I was intended to say and you have this like a little epiphany. That's how you know you made progress.

[00:07:40] But it is it is a journey and it takes effort and work. And it's a. To me, it's the fun part because you're constantly trying to get better and never ever perfect. I think it can be its own challenge just to be who we are. Yeah, that's true.

[00:07:59] That's an interesting perspective because you're trying to fight. Is those of us is trying to fight who we really are to be something for somebody else that can get us into big trouble? Is that what you meant or do you mean something else?

[00:08:14] Yeah, that and just wanting to be someone else too, right? Like absorbing all the character, character, characters, you know, on on TV or on the Internet or on social media. Like and just almost like piecing together our personality from other people versus figuring out really who we are

[00:08:34] and liking that person and trusting that person and hearing that person and being happy with who we are. Right. That authentic self and it's flaws because we're all flawed. No matter what philosophy or religion you look at,

[00:08:53] we're all flawed in some capacity and that's part of what makes us unique. Interesting. So we think that's one of the reasons why I like doing this podcast because I had a plan to ask a couple of questions and see where it went.

[00:09:10] And then we just went down a path that was completely different than what I expected, but I learned you know, the idea of traveling is not just to experience the culture and the food and the language and the, you know, how they lived their lives.

[00:09:30] But it's, you know, how it affects us and what that does to change our perspectives and how we interact with other people. I think is and that's something that. I forget the percentage, but it's a significantly lower percentage of Americans who have a passport and have used it.

[00:09:53] Then. Obviously anyone in Europe, right? You got you got little spots where you got to travel more often. But we have a we don't leave this country. It's a big country. We can we can go do lots of different things.

[00:10:07] Yeah, maybe leaving it is like going to Cabo or Cancun or, you know, going to a resort and wanting everything to be comfortable, right? As comfortable as possible in anything that is discomfort. It's like it's bad and judgment, right?

[00:10:20] It's like, oh, it's not going the way that I want versus evolving in that journey. And appreciate our experiencing things the way that someone in Hungary or Romania or Croatia, right? That's you see things, you read about things, but actually going and

[00:10:41] in my I have limited experience there. But my take has always been people are the same. They have the same fears and the same joys and the same struggles. How they deal with it is wildly different.

[00:10:58] And the the the things that upset us compared to the things that might upset a Russian is sort of like just laughable when when you when you have a meaningful conversation with somebody who's grown up in Russia

[00:11:16] in the life that they've had to experience, especially if they were there of as a Soviet Union. Those perspectives are like, why would you let that bother you? It doesn't mean anything. Context. Yeah, it's huge. And with social media driving the bus more often than not,

[00:11:38] it's in that stupid little device that people run around with their pocket. I drive my daughter nuts when we go to visit her in college. I'll leave the hotel and we go out to dinner.

[00:11:55] And I'm like, all right, I'm going to go this way to go check this thing out. I'll meet you. She's well, we'll just text you, let you know where we're back. And I don't have my phone. So what do you mean? You don't have your phone.

[00:12:04] How do you not have your phone? How do you leave the house without your phone? Like she just can't comprehend that. I'm like I I'm with the people that I want to talk to. I don't I don't need the phone. It's not.

[00:12:17] You know, there's no pay phone to call 911. But in just that that generation doesn't doesn't see a way around that. It's interesting. And I just I want to be out of it. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot to unpack there. And I think I don't know. It's like

[00:12:41] like it's a weird analogy here, but like alcohol has been like such a big part of different cultures in Europe and America. But I think more and more people are opting out of alcohol as an example.

[00:12:53] And I think different people have their own growth journeys with their smartphone or with technology in different ways, too. And you know, I went on a whitewater rafting trip to Inyo 70 for like three days and our phones didn't work, you know, we didn't even bring them.

[00:13:09] And for some people that was really uncomfortable. And those are the people that got the most out of it, like not having it. Really? Interesting. They were able to adjust. Absolutely. I mean, that's that's humanity, right? Is that that adaptability and evolution?

[00:13:25] So I think sometimes the things that people most cling on to, like they benefit the most from eventually like not having it, whatever that stimulus is. So you're back we're back to stoicism, right? Because one of the principles is to practice

[00:13:45] that the lack of that thing that you're accustomed to, like dressing in coarse clothes and not eating just the bare essentials without any flair to it. And Seneca? Yeah, absolutely. And that's a that's really hard to do. But I think that's the step.

[00:14:05] I never thought of it that way, just letting the phone go for a couple of days and go try not to kill yourself on a whitewater rafting trip. That's and enjoy the enjoy the landscape. Can you enjoy the landscape as you're

[00:14:19] riding through that boat and the what were they class three, class four? It was it was even class five stuff too where we were at. But yeah, mostly class three, class four. Yeah, it very much could a lot.

[00:14:32] You know, the the rapids are a small part of that journey. A lot of it's just just open water. And then it was also just incredible. We slept without tents just under the stars.

[00:14:43] And and so would wake up in the middle of the night and see shooting, you know, just see the stars and see shooting stars. And it was an incredible reset in a variety of different ways.

[00:14:57] So I not something I have a lot of experience with just like being in nature. And and I'm realizing even on this on this trip, you know, I've mostly working inside and we'll do, you know, swam the Adriatic and did some really cool stuff.

[00:15:13] But recently I was white wake surfing on the Danube, which is the largest river in Europe and just getting back in nature like being in that water. There was this reset that happened that allowed me to like feel my body in a

[00:15:28] whole different way in a new way and realizing like, you know, that I was not treating it very well. Yeah. Well, and nature can remind you that in a variety of different ways. But just, you know, the the ocean is unforgiving. But there's a connection there that

[00:15:50] like I said, I mentioned earlier that I was going to San Diego for the and its business so they won't have a lot of time. But I will find the time to go to Coronado and go to the beach and just stand there and watch,

[00:16:03] you know, the guys surfing or the seals swimming by or look at the sharks and the little waves. It was my first experience. I was standing on the beach looking in and there were guys surfing.

[00:16:14] And this old guy came up and I was smoking a cigar and he came up and told me, you know, you can't smoke that cigar here. OK, you mean I'm not supposed to smoke that cigar here? I love that differentiation.

[00:16:27] But we we struck up a conversation like, what are all those little things? What kind of fish is that in the water? Because I could see silhouettes right by the surfers. Because they go, those are sharks. And like, should we go tell them there's sharks in the water?

[00:16:39] Like, they know there's sharks in the water. Those are just the little sharks. They don't hurt people. Fine, don't worry about it. And it was just the perspective of it's a shark, but it's not a big deal unless, you know, you smack it

[00:16:51] upside ahead or something. I'm sure it gets upset. And I don't know. I don't remember what kind of shark it was, but he was like totally cool with it and apparently the surfers were totally cool with it. I thought twice about going in the water.

[00:17:04] That's my knees just just because of that connection with nature, but putting your feet in an ocean and that saltwater and the sand is a different it's a different thing, whether it be in a big ass river in Europe can get you that same connection.

[00:17:23] Yeah, well, I mean, Walter, when you're describing this, like what's coming up for me is and what I'm talking with members, this this comes up as I think people are just living in their head, like in their brain. And there's so much stimulus like on to the brain

[00:17:41] that we end up thinking that's who we are and that's our reality. But then when we start engaging the body, whether it's getting in the ocean, getting in the river, just sitting in the sand walking in the water. Yeah, walking in the woods,

[00:17:58] right, the thorough right, just sitting by a river. Also, I think massages are pretty good for this too, is like a massage will really get me in my body. Oh, my gosh, I haven't felt that in a long time. And I just think there's a huge

[00:18:13] like unrealized gift of like getting out of our heads and connecting with the rest of our body and even our our gut, our stomach and that whole relationship, I'm just starting to understand it. It's not I mean, if somebody came into this conversation,

[00:18:29] heard part of this, they might think this is sort of odd. But I think if you don't know who you are and you don't make the connections to the various aspects of who you are

[00:18:41] and how you operate and who you really are, then you can't be a good leader. You can't be effective in your profession because you live in this this lie to to a degree, right? Not necessarily a pure lie, but you're not living it true.

[00:19:01] And the closer we can get to being true, I think it is so much easier to operate. I shut. I took social media off of my phone. I don't watch the news. I don't even listen to the radio anymore.

[00:19:21] I just systematically started dropping these things from my world. And I can still have meaningful conversations with people and not know the score of a game or, you know, I read a couple of newspapers, right?

[00:19:38] And that kind of gives me the gist of, yep, still a little screwed up out there. But yeah, I think like Walter, I think most people think they know who they are, right? Like, like I would say that most people,

[00:19:55] like the people that think they're living a lie, I think are sometimes further ahead than people that don't think they're living a lie because at least that awareness, like step one is like knowing that there's a problem. Yeah.

[00:20:08] And it reminds me of like a Mark Twain quote that's like, you know, it's not what you don't know that's going to hurt you. It's what you know that isn't so. Right. Right. And he had a way with words, but

[00:20:22] that's exactly like what we're completely committed to that is just wrong. That we believe that and we're not. And what's really sad is that some people are truly committed to that and not open to to listening to another another idea.

[00:20:42] And to me, it's it's the test of a it's the true test of a of a strong mind is to listen to somebody else's opposing idea, really listen to it, think about it and contemplate and then dismiss or accept pieces of it.

[00:21:00] But if you can't do that, then maybe we're not as secure as we think we are. Hey, thanks for being part of the sales and cigar community. I wanted to share that I wrote a book, the seven critical mistakes CEOs make with their sales organization.

[00:21:14] The CEOs who've read it tell me I cut to the chase quickly, get to the point, explain exactly what they're experiencing, why they're experiencing it and how to fix it. So if you want a free copy, go check out the link in the show notes.

[00:21:28] Now let's get back to the interview. You know, I think this whole conversation relates to sales in a weird way where if we don't know who we are, it's very difficult to know who someone else is. Right. And people, you know, there's this talk around authenticity and

[00:21:42] and phoning, you know, and then on the other side of that phoniness. And, you know, I get sold to all that, you know, people try to sell me things all the time and it's it's interesting jumping

[00:21:51] on a call where I'm experiencing like phoniness or someone that just tells me what I want to hear or whatever it is, right? Like that doesn't know themselves versus I'm sensing, you know, someone, you that does know himself and has made some very big decisions on

[00:22:10] who they are and how they want to show up in the world and what it is they do. And I think it creates a different conversation than, you know, someone that's just sticking to a script. Yeah, the problem with scripts is that

[00:22:23] the other person doesn't have the script and it doesn't take you to where you really want to go. So to me, it's like approaching a sales conversation the same way approach a conversation with somebody that you meet traveling or a friend, some empathy, some curiosity,

[00:22:41] some skepticism and just and really listen to what's being said. And in sales, I know that's that's critical because if we're making assumptions, we're probably going to get it wrong in the end. And if we're if we're not curious, we're not going to ask enough questions.

[00:23:02] And if we're not skeptical, then we're not doing our job because we as a sales person, we should be looking to make sure there's a fit and that we can really provide value. I mean, I have a process that we go through with

[00:23:18] prospective clients and it's about it bunches between 48 and 51 percent of people that don't don't fit. I pass. I'm not for everybody. I know that, but no one is. Yeah, and I'm cool with that.

[00:23:39] And I'd rather pass on a situation and to take something and not be my heart and not in it because I get too too into it, too focused and too care too much. So it's a I think being able to discern that, right?

[00:23:56] That's probably the other element of a sales conversation is discerning whether there's real opportunity and value. I think it applies to relationships too, right? Like whether it's friendships or romantic relationships is, you know, I think sometimes people don't even

[00:24:14] sound like a broker record, but like know who they are, know what they really want from someone else and know and do the diligence to figure out who that person, the due diligence to figure out who that person is to see if it's

[00:24:27] a good fit versus just like, oh my gosh, I don't want to be alone anymore. Yeah, yeah. Right. And and then I think that's where 10 years or seven years or one year 20 years later, it's like, oh my gosh, who is this person?

[00:24:41] That's like, you know, animosity and the miscommunications is it's awful. It leads to tons of tons of problems. So I'd like to pivot because when there was an engagement about setting this up, the what you do for a living with your masterminds is part of when you're not

[00:25:05] traveling and when I'm traveling part of it. But the idea of a mastermind and can you kind of share your thoughts there? Because I have had a lot more difficulty finding one that helps at finding one where people are growth minded and where one is properly facilitated.

[00:25:29] So kind of curious as to your thoughts about how you approach that. How I'm approaching facilitation and growth mindset. Yeah, like what why would that the start? And then we can talk about your masterminds that you structure and how you do it.

[00:25:47] Yeah, I mean, there's a there's a big why there. So if you're open to I want to even step back like a little more macro of like, what is a mastermind? Because it's interesting.

[00:25:57] So just let me button that up and then I'll move on is a mastermind is when two or more minds come together in the spirit of harmony to to accomplish a common goal, that's a Napoleon Hill quote of like how Napoleon Hill to find masterminds.

[00:26:13] And it's interesting, like a lot of people don't even know what a mastermind is. Right? If you think of like someone's in college or like, you know, even even in their career, entry level employee, a middle manager,

[00:26:25] like I talked to certain people and they don't even know what a mastermind is or why it would be valuable to them. On the other side, entrepreneurs, CEOs, executives, leaders, I think at a certain point in their career, like they they

[00:26:42] realize that my joke is like and I heard this from someone else who runs a mastermind. He's like masterminds are relevant to someone or for someone when their problems are no longer Googleable. And and I think I think part of that's true.

[00:27:02] And what I see is that, you know, very successful people eventually join a mastermind at a certain point in their career and they they never they'll always be part of that mastermind moving forward. On a personal note, I think a good marriage is a mastermind. Right? Like, yeah.

[00:27:19] Good point. And it gets two or more minds coming together in the spirit of harmony, hopefully with accomplishing a common goal. And for most people, I think it's the only mastermind that they're ever in. You know, see a lot of people just, you know,

[00:27:33] with their friends and they're talking about sports and there's no common goal. Right. Or maybe the common goal is just to hide escape in them. Right. But people that are really out there to accomplish serious goals and enter playing

[00:27:46] a big game at a certain point, like there's not even someone that like, you know, maybe they'll have a number of coaches, but being around a group of peers. There's this like trust that happens, this vulnerability that happens.

[00:28:02] And then the way I think about it is like other people at the table having their best interests in mind and being willing to challenge them. Like it creates this like secret sauce where back to the Mark Twain quote,

[00:28:14] we can point out, we can challenge people around what they know that isn't so. And I think a good mastermind environment isn't about like sharing knowledge with someone. Like it's like, it's not like, oh, you don't know this here.

[00:28:28] Now you let me tell you it and this is going to change everything. But I think a good mastermind is is a place for people to figure out the truth, like their truth, like what it is that they already know that maybe they're not

[00:28:40] applying or what it is that they think they know that isn't true. For me, it was having a victim mindset. Like I was like, I have these business goals and I'm not hitting them. And another member was like, Parker, do you realize like

[00:28:52] it sounds like you have like a little victim mentality around the situation? And I'm like, what are you talking about? You know, I was very defensive about it. And I sat with it for a few days and I was like, wow, like that was true.

[00:29:03] That person was true. Right? Like it allowed for me to break through a plateau that I was because I was able to see truth, see reality more clearly and then make changes. So the group is the group is supporting each other because we're able to share

[00:29:25] openly and honestly and listen and shine a little light on on the thing that we keep dancing around sometimes. Like when I've experienced it with a group of peers, they're like, you seem to be talking about everything other than the thing that's really causing

[00:29:46] the problem and like what do you mean? And then they they share their thought and I'm like, oh, I hadn't thought of it like that before and then they stopped talking. And they they like allow in this particular situation, this guy let me go.

[00:30:04] He just sat there like nodding his head. It's like you're almost there. Just keep keep going and it it I wouldn't have got there by myself for the same reasons you you just talked. You just spoke of it's

[00:30:19] we couldn't put our finger on it or we didn't want to face it or something. You know, there's a framework that I think really helps explain the value of these type of experiences and it's called the Johari window. And essentially on one access, there's like the self.

[00:30:38] There's like me on this example. And then on the other access, there's other people. Right? So there's two accesses and there's four quadrants. There's things that are and then so there's known and unknown on both of

[00:30:52] these quadrants. So there's things that are known to me and then there's known to the other person and that's like open. And then there's things that are unknown to me that are known by the other person. That's a blind spot, right?

[00:31:05] And then there's things that are known to me and unknown to the other person. That's a secret. And then there's unknown to both and that's hidden. And then essentially through exploration and disclosure, we're able to discover the unknown, what was hidden.

[00:31:20] And also people can see the blind spots. And it's, you know, I think that the sooner that we get people into these types of experiences, I call it peer to peer learning. I think it should be like started seven years old, like the age of reason,

[00:31:38] you know, I think it would unlock a lot of potential that remains dormant or nascent for for most people throughout their life. That's a really powerful idea to start because I mean, I think the education

[00:31:52] system is broken because we're not teaching kids how to think and to be critical about things and whatnot. But in fact, so important, but not all of them. But the teacher with the smartphone, right? Right.

[00:32:08] I can Google facts or a 21 year old that I have access to that can go look something up for me a lot faster than I can find it. But the that idea because I guess my question is when somebody says that masterminds,

[00:32:25] there's a certain therapy component to it. Do you see that as a positive or a negative to the experience? I think it's accurate. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a little bit of judgment in that statement. And maybe the judgments were considered or not.

[00:32:41] I was actually talking to a really brilliant sociologist like I don't even know what a sociologist was when I was talking with her. She had like a PhD in sociology. She was the dean of University of California San Diego's extension program. I'm a brilliant woman, Mary Walshek.

[00:33:00] And I was telling her like what we were doing with him, too. And she's like, no way, like no way. And I was like, you know, Mary, like there's obviously something you see here that I don't see. Like, what is it?

[00:33:12] And she's like, have you ever heard of epigenetics? And I was like, no. She's like, it's this field of study within molecular biology that explains the paradox of nature and nurture. And it's like a new science. It's within like 10, 20 years.

[00:33:26] The first book that I could understand about this was written less than 10 years ago. And basically what it is, this field of study started by studying like it was these rich, very, very wealthy people who had a drug addict or alcoholic child

[00:33:42] or spouse or something, someone that they really cared about. Unlimited resources. They'd send them to Tony Robbins, they'd send them to these psychiatrists and therapists and all these experts and nothing they could do would work, right? The person would keep on using or whatever.

[00:33:58] And then they'd go to one AA meeting and they would never drink again. Right. This free experience is peer to peer. Like, you know, and and they're like, what happened here? Right. Was it therapy? No, it wasn't. It was actually epigenetics where essentially these type of environments

[00:34:17] create this energetic dynamic where people can really open up, be vulnerable, be truthful and and and be related to in a way where we're all equals, right? There's no hierarchy. And and then in that environment, what happens is it's something like activating knowledge, right? But it's like

[00:34:43] it actually impacts the translation of our DNA. Like on a very cellular level, like there's an unlock that happens that allows for change and so, you know, whether that's therapy or whether that's, you know, a very scientific based maybe natural thousands and thousands of years.

[00:35:05] This is how things happened. You know, I don't know how to judge. It sounds to me like I had not heard that before, right? But my takeaway there is that because somebody is not teaching this person or trying to help them change or coming from a position

[00:35:30] of authority to sort of look down on isn't the right word, but where there's some sort of different levels when you walk into the meeting or to the other peer to peer group, it's like, oh, there's other people like me and oh, they've solved this.

[00:35:49] So maybe I should pay attention. They're not asking me to go do this thing. They're just asking me to hear this story. And it feels more like a story. It feels more natural way to learn rather than somebody,

[00:36:03] you know, coming at you like go learn this thing, right? And that's not very eloquent, but I think it's that's what my takeaway is. It's an easier way to learn, absorb something. Yeah, I mean, I think that can be true.

[00:36:22] Like the way that I think about this and this might be a little bit nerdy, but I think we're living in the age of what I call personal development 3.0. It's like the next iteration of personal development.

[00:36:34] I got this idea from like reading an article about the evolution of the internet and like internet being in like web 3.0 and like web 1.0 is when it was only really available to academics and engineers. And then it got democratized in web 2.0 where it became available to everyone,

[00:36:53] but it was still very vertical like internet. You were on one site and then you went to another site and one, you know, the company controlled that experience that would then go to the consumer. And then there's something called APIs or application program interfaces.

[00:37:10] The internet started talking to each other and it moved to a horizontal internet where now we can be tracked across different websites to customize that experience for us on other sites using the data that didn't even happen on that site.

[00:37:24] And it occurred to me that that's what's happening in personal development where personal development 1.0 was when this type of information and knowledge, this idea of being able to create our reality and like set goals and like hit goals and really build our reality

[00:37:44] was like was only available to, you know, elites, priests, monarchs, the royalty, like those type of people. And then over the last, you know, let's call it the renaissance, right? The renaissance was sort of the enlightenment period. It started to become more democratized.

[00:38:02] I think, you know, some technology was involved in that, the printing press, things like that. And it gave way to the age of the author and the speaker, right? Where books and events and it's still very top down though, right? One directional.

[00:38:17] We'd be in the audience listening to Tony Robbins or whatever the speaker was and he'd be talking to 2000 people and it was that type of environment. So it's a lot of democratization of a lot of ideas where now we all kind of know

[00:38:28] what we need to do, but the part is like doing it. And then I think it's ushered in this next stage of personal development called 3.0, what I call personal development 3.0, where now it's horizontal. Like we're equals. We know we all have problems. We know we're all imperfect.

[00:38:45] Most of us have the same problems. You know, some of us have solved this problem. Some of it hasn't. And through open honest dialogue, you know, a lot of interesting things can be solved. But the dialogue is key, open and honest is key.

[00:39:00] And being in an environment where that can be fostered and developed is and not judged. The judging piece comes into causing people to shut down and not really develop. So as we wrap up, can you share? Now you've got something coming up.

[00:39:22] Can you share about how you start or what do you look for in a mastermind? Let's kind of go there. What do I look for in a mastermind? I think my term for this is like authentic, like authentically relevant. Like things that, you know,

[00:39:42] and what that means to me is like not having people that are 30 steps ahead. Right. Like it's like it's kind of challenging because we start moving into that unconscious competence level, right? Those like the layers of learning where it's unconscious incompetence, unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence,

[00:40:01] conscious competence and unconscious competence. I think there's kind of a challenge where we are talking to someone that's way, way ahead of us. There's this unconscious competence where it's no longer relevant. They're talking about what they're doing now versus what they did when when

[00:40:18] they were in the same position you were in. So I think of it as like you want people that are two steps ahead of you at the same level as you and also two steps behind you. Where because when one person teaches two people learn,

[00:40:34] and I think there's so much benefit to teaching to remind ourselves of what we already know. Well, yeah, teaching helps hone that in and bring that. Own it or allows you to own it and really master it. And reactivate it. Yeah, or reactivate it. Absolutely.

[00:40:56] But I think the person is like two steps behind the one in the middle can still teach the person that's two steps ahead of the person in the middle. Like if you get to that stage in a group, that's sort of the magic,

[00:41:10] right, where everybody's helping everybody in some capacity. It doesn't happen every day, every time. Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen that impact where the person two steps behind teaches something the two steps ahead and it changes life trajectories. And I've seen it play out over 10 years, 15 years.

[00:41:28] So but I think the trick is when most people are like looking for a mastermind, they're like, oh, I want to be in a room of people ahead of me. That's like, that's what you think you want. You know?

[00:41:39] So yeah, I do agree with what you said about the growth mentality. People that are really committed to growing and not just whining and complaining. And I think, you know, if we are in an environment where someone is whining

[00:41:55] and complaining and can be challenged about that, they probably don't even know that that's what they're doing, right? I think an unlock can happen there where that is their problem and they don't even realize it.

[00:42:07] Like their problem is they're being a victim and they're not being the hero. They're not like thinking accurately about what's happening and what they can do to shift it, and they need someone to give them some tough love and shake them out of that.

[00:42:22] So yeah, that's that's the environment that we seek to foster is, you know, having each other's best interests in mind, vulnerability. There's so many different masterminds out there. And I also encourage people to start their own masterminds too with like just start with where you're at

[00:42:37] and just bring together people that aren't necessarily your best friends, you know, but are people that you respect and that are heading, you know, that have similar goals as you are. Directionally in the same going in the same direction. Yeah, yeah.

[00:42:52] And that you, you know, that you look that you respect, that you look up to there's some sort of like vibe or energy, you know, that you kind of, you know, go to start going to events and like figure out who it is

[00:43:04] you'd want to have coffee with and then go to coffee with them. And then and then who would you want to have coffee with again? You know, and then potentially this is a little bit more of a scalable way

[00:43:15] to facilitate that frequency and those interactions versus like having one off coffees with 10 people. Yeah, no, I think that's a good it's a good piece of advice for people that are sort of looking for some level of growth and surrounding yourself

[00:43:34] with people that it's not about being smart or about being successful, but it is much as it's about wanting to grow or move in a direction to gain some sort of insight and not make the same mistakes. And whatever it is, right? Like there's a famous YouTuber, Mr.

[00:43:56] Beast, I think is his name and he's like crushing it. He's he's doing very, very well from soft. He's very young too. My understanding is this was late 20s now. And when you hear his story, it started with like, you know,

[00:44:08] they were minimally successful struggling and then he surrounded himself with a group of other YouTubers that were at that same level. And then every single day they had a mastermind. They would literally jump on a Zoom call together. Sometimes that Zoom call was an hour.

[00:44:21] Sometimes it was 12 hours. You know, like they literally would do it all day and they would just explore like what's working and what's not working in the in the area of their YouTube channel, right? And then now 10 years later, they all have millions of subscribers.

[00:44:37] They're all kill me. And so whatever it is, like it could be like anything, you know, it could really be anything. I hope that it's a positive thing, right? But if it could be about changing the education system, like one of my favorite movies is called Amazing Grace.

[00:44:54] And it's the story of the abolition of the slave trade in England and in Europe. And that was done by a mastermind of people. That wasn't done by one person. That was a mastermind that came together over two decades to fight against

[00:45:09] that travesty and to like change the world. So I think I think this is how everything gets done. It's not one person. It's it's always usually a mastermind or a group of people, whether it's a great company, whether it's a movement,

[00:45:22] whether it's social change in our case, like our inspiration came from Benjamin Franklin and the original Hunto. But it wasn't just about Benjamin Franklin. It was about 12 people coming together on a weekly basis to have conversations about how they could be more successful and how they could make

[00:45:39] the world better. And that led to the first public library, the first post office, the first fire department, the University of Pennsylvania. And some people would say even the spirit of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence and this idea of separation of powers

[00:45:53] and how do we sequence these these what was important? So it's it's usually I think I think there's a you know, Einstein when I hear about like Einstein history, it wasn't just about Einstein sitting in a room like he was surrounded by

[00:46:08] other people that challenged him and he was part of a mastermind. So I think that this is this idea of a genius is usually false. And I think really what it is, it's about a collective genius or a collaborative genius that comes together. Yeah.

[00:46:22] And I think that's that's the point that were if you feel strongly about something and you're trying to affect some kind of change, it is is difficult to get it done. I'm saying it's impossible, but it's difficult to get it done on your own.

[00:46:38] So if you put that that group together, you can create a movement, you can create that force that maybe it goes in a slightly different direction than what you thought, but it should advance if you have the right people in the room and

[00:46:57] everybody's got the right goals and the right mindset there of listening and helping. So I think that's a I think that's a great place to land this. So you said a bunch of things that I think cause people to think so if they listen to this and they're

[00:47:17] finishing their workout or they're on their way home and they're like, I need to get a hold of this guy. What's we're going to have the links and stuff in the show notes, but what's your preference?

[00:47:27] What's the best way for them to get to know you and learn a little bit more and engage with you? Yes. I mean, people are welcome to email me. My email is Parker at Hoontoe.global or JUNTO.global. So you're going to post the website.

[00:47:44] It's just Parker at our website. And I'm also active on social media. So they can message me on Instagram or Facebook or LinkedIn. And and my handle is Zachary Parker Harris. OK, so we'll have all that in the show notes.

[00:47:59] And basically you're you're out there with people just have to take a minute and poke and they'll find you and you'll engage in something magical might happen. That's cool. Yeah, I mean, it's interesting. I like I think there's so many stories of this, but like Steve Jobs,

[00:48:18] when he was 13 or 14, he just cold called like the guy that started Hewlett Packer. Right. And and like I think that's sometimes the difference between success and failure is like being willing to put ourselves out there and have that uncomfortable conversation. Vulnerable.

[00:48:34] Yeah. And in the face of rejection because school teaches us to get 100 percent. Whereas the greatest salespeople in the world have a 30 percent close rate, right, which is like an F in school terms. Yeah. So I think the people that, you know,

[00:48:50] are the most successful have the biggest rewards in life, make the most money, whatever it is, have a really interesting relationship with failure and discomfort and rejection, so encourage your people to put themselves out there. People think everybody's an overnight success and it,

[00:49:08] you know, took them 20 years, took them 30 years, whatever. There's very few little flash in the pans like that. And that's usually what they are. It's a flash in the pan because they didn't learn from the failures. They don't appreciate the things that they have.

[00:49:21] So I think that's a great, a great way to land this. Thank you. This was an interesting conversation. And I think there's a lot for people to think about and unpack. So I appreciate it. My pleasure. I love sharing secrets when I figure them out.

[00:49:37] That's why I created this program called sales hiring secrets. Earlier my sales management career, I was terrible at hiring salespeople. They failed more often than not. Then I discovered the secret that you can't hire salespeople the same way you hire everyone else. That's why everyone fails.

[00:49:54] In sales hiring secrets, I'm going to teach you all of the secrets, the secrets to understanding what you really need your salesperson to do, how to attract an ideal candidate with a unique job posting. I'll teach you how to save time and money by only interviewing candidates

[00:50:12] that are a good fit. I'll share the secrets to an interviewing process that ensures success. And the one big secret that everybody gets wrong is how to on board a good sales person so they ramp up quickly and stick around.

[00:50:28] I'm doing the sales hiring secrets program on a monthly basis. You can click the link below to figure out when the next sales hiring secrets program is scheduled and you can sign up, click the link below and you get

[00:50:42] all the details and it's designed for you to bring your entire team so you can get everybody up to speed quickly. Thanks. Look forward to seeing you on the other side.